Like most people, I usually start off the New Year with my list of resolutions. You know the typical, lose weight, eat better, blah, blah blah, but this year, when I look back at 2025, all I could hear was the word, immature!
Who me? Immature? Yes, if I’m truly honest and transparent, I’m immature and have a hard time dying to my flesh.
Like seeds that have been planted, my immaturity has produced a crop of tears, strife, and resentment. In fact, some of my actions are embarrassing to even admit ….. like trying to throw a block of Velveeta cheese during one adult temper tantrum. Yes, that really happened….
So resolving to “grow up” in 2026, I found HIS word always provides the guidance and blueprint.
1. Marriage Requires Growing Up
1 Corinthians 13:11
“When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me.”
Marriage exposes childish patterns—defensiveness, sulking, blame-shifting. Covenant love requires putting those patterns away, not protecting them, defending them or repeating them over and over again.
2. Immaturity Fuels Conflict; Maturity Seeks Peace
James 4:1–2
“What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you?”
Most marital conflict is not about the issue at hand, but about unmet desires and unmanaged emotions. Maturity takes responsibility for inner battles instead of external blame.
Proverbs 15:18
“A hot-tempered person stirs up conflict, but the one who is patient calms a quarrel.”
Immaturity escalates; maturity de-escalates. One emotionally regulated spouse can change the tone of an entire marriage. Guard your tongue, take a time-out.
3. Words Reveal the Level of Maturity in a Marriage
Ephesians 4:29
“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up…”
Sarcasm, contempt, and verbal jabs may feel justified in conflict, and satisfy the flesh but they erode trust. Mature love uses words to repair, not wound.
Proverbs 29:11
“Fools give full vent to their rage, but the wise bring calm in the end.”
Emotional dumping is not honesty—it’s immaturity. Wisdom learns restraint without suppression.
4. Marriage Calls for Humility, Not Self-Protection
Philippians 2:3–4
“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves…”
Immaturity asks, “How do I win?”
Maturity asks, “How do I love well—even when it costs me?”
Colossians 3:12–14
“Clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience…”
These traits do not come naturally under pressure; they are chosen daily. Marriage maturity is a practiced discipline, not a personality trait.
5. Maturity Is Measured by Fruit, Not Feelings
Galatians 5:22–23
“The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.”
A mature marriage is not one without conflict, but one where the Spirit’s fruit increasingly governs how conflict is handled.
6. Love That Grows Up Looks Like Christ
Ephesians 5:25
“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her.”
Christlike love is not reactive or self-centered or prideful. It is sacrificial, regulated, and committed to growth—especially when emotions run high.
Closing Thought
Marriage immaturity is not a verdict—it is a signal. Scripture calls spouses not to shame one another for where they are, but to grow up into love together (Ephesians 4:15)
My prayer and only resolution for 2026, is to grow up and reflect more of HIM and less of me.
Hope for the Hopeless Wife 
Leave a comment